I'll never be what you want me to be.
You are the moon and I am the ocean.

beautifulgodzilla:

THIS TOOK A FAR DIFFERENT TURN THEN I EXPECTED

REBLOG | Posted 11 hours ago With 8,477 notes
tags: #baby

rabioheab:

my dog was supposed to be a police dog but he failed the training for it because he was too much of a wimp. the trainers said that when he was supposed to be attacking dummies he’d run up to them and roll over and wag his tail and they also said he was the worst failure they’d ever seen 

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

I PUT THE HOUSECAT OUTSIDE FOR TWO GODDAMN MINUTES AS A JOKE AND HE COMES RUNNING IN WITH A SNAKE IN HIS MOUTH

OH SHIT THE SNAKE IS STILL ALIVE

THE SNAKE HAS GONE INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND IM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

SNAKE HAS BEEN RELEASED IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD IN A PANICKED, THROWING MOTION

"Fucking put me outside again, bitch. See what happens." -My Asshole Cat

reallylameblog:

I love when the app messes up I really really do

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 61,497 notes

neyagawa:

THIS PHOTO IS CRAZY! HE CAN’T EVEN SEE THE TSUNAMI BEHIND HIM!?!

REBLOG | Posted 1 day ago With 57,032 notes

twated:

I’d be such a good girlfriend you’re all missing out

patrickat:

kaiju3:

The American Hogwarts Houses

Look at your school of witchcraft and wizardry. Now look at mine. Now yours. Now back to mine. Sadly, your school is not mine, but if you all got off your broomsticks and started using a real sorcerer’s deodorant, it could smell like mine. Abracadabra! I’m a horse.